The Unconscious Mind and Dating.

The unconscious is an extension of self that is only partially accessible in one’s own thoughts. The best example of the unconscious being tapped, so to speak, is through dreams. Some people even live out the thoughts, hopes and needs of their unconscious minds. The unconscious mind holds back one’s feelings, wants, memories and urges. This is why people are able to live in a civilized society and not like animals.

Freud introduces a self that “learns to repress…instinctual drives and the conscious desires they instigate.” This new or other self “mold[s] aggressive and sexual impulses as well as an initially grandiose sense of self to the demands of life with others” (389). In Freud’s study of patients with neurotic symptoms they usually “engaged in behavior that frequently embodied desires or fears.” The constant repetition of this “suggested that the patient was in the grip of something outside his awareness or her control” (390). In this case, the patient is unable to control their unconscious mind. I believe little parts of our unconscious minds come out in every day life, even in situations like dating.

In Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone,” it is made evident in the lyrics that the girl in the song is with her boyfriend for reasons that are beyond her control. Perhaps she wants love and feels like a “boyfriend” can provide that. It is possible that she did not receive enough attention and or love from her parents when she was younger and therefore feels the need to reach out to anyone that will love her now. Once the girl realizes the boyfriend does not fulfill her desires or needs, she can “breathe for the first time.” Her revelation aids her in finding herself and figuring out that she does not need a boyfriend to be happy or to feel loved.

"Since U Been Gone" music video on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdxRS_GyBbM

Work Cited
Ryan, Michael. Literary Theory: An Anthology. Ed. Julie Rivkin. Grand Rapids: Blackwell Limited, 2008.
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. 3 Mar. 2009 .